Making friends if you have a special educational need or disability

Being part of the community is an important step in preparing for your adulthood. It can give you a sense of being independent from your family, help you become more confident so that you can make new friends, develop relationships and have things to do locally. 

Contact is a national charity for families of disabled children that has information about making friends and relationships available on their website.

Friendships can be very rewarding, you can watch a video on preparing for adulthood website that shows Stera, Ellen, Jade and Hanna enjoy their evening out together. 

Making and keeping friends

A good friend is someone you enjoy spending time with. It might be that you have similar interests that you enjoy talking about, or that you just get on well and make each other laugh.

Friends should be kind, trustworthy and offer to help each other when needed.

If you are looking to make a new friend, then try speaking to someone who you know is kind and start a conversation about what they enjoy doing. 

Being trustworthy is one of the best ways to be a true friend. Show your trustworthiness by telling the truth and being reliable to your friends.

Support your friends and be there for them when they need you. If you break a friend's trust, learn from your mistakes.  If you approach someone and they are not friendly back, then leave.

You should also be aware of the difference between a real friend and one that bullies you in an underhand way. These are sometimes called 'frenemies'. More information about frenemies can be found on Kidscape's website.

Social interaction and communication

If you find it hard to interact and communicate with others, then making and keeping friends can be difficult. You may prefer to be on your own or find that people that don’t share the same challenges as you are not welcoming. You may want to make friends but do not feel confident doing so.

Here are some things you can try:

• identify one new place to go each week, such as a local shop
• practice ‘small talk’, such as ‘How are you today? - this may help you to feel less anxious
• try going somewhere for the first time with a friend to help you feel more comfortable

If you are in school or college, ask a member of staff it there are groups you can join. Explain that you have difficulties meeting new people and ask for their support.

If you are in employment, ask your manager or work colleagues if they can help as there may be some after work activities that you can join.

Books Beyond Words have published several picture books you can read about making friends and what you can do if your friends ever make you cross.