Healthy relationships quiz
Is your relationship healthy?
Everyone deserves to be in a safe and healthy relationship and this questionnaire is designed to help you find out if your is. It will help you to reflect on the strengths in your relationship as well as the areas where you may need some support to improve.
There is no time limit to this questionnaire. It will probably take you 5-10 minutes. The accuracy of the results depends on how honest you are. There are no right or wrong answers. If you agree more than you disagree then highlight ‘yes’. If you disagree more than you agree then highlight ‘no’. Be sure to mark each item with either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.
- Your partner is very supportive of the things that you do. Yes/No
- Your partner encourages you to try new things. Yes/No
- Your partner likes to listen when you have something on your mind. Yes/No
- Your partner understands that you have your own life too. Yes/No
- Your partner is well liked by your friends. Yes/No
- Your partner is willing and able to resolve conflict with you after a disagreement. Yes/No
- Your partner can accept responsibility for mistakes. Yes/No
- You and your partner enjoy spending time together. Yes/No
- Your partner recognises your strengths. Yes/No
- Your partner says that you're too involved in different activities. Yes/No
- Your partner texts or calls you all the time. Yes/No
- Your partner thinks you spend too much time trying to look nice. Yes/No
- Your partner gets extremely jealous or possessive. Yes/No
- Your partner accuses you of flirting or cheating. Yes/No
- Your partner constantly checks up on you or makes you check in with them. Yes/No
- Your partner controls what you wear or how you look. Yes/No
- Your partner tries to control what you do and who you see. Yes/No
- Your partner tries to keep you from seeing or talking to your family and friends. Yes/No
- Your partner has big mood swings. They get angry and yell at you one minute but are sweet and apologetic the next. Yes/No
- Your partner puts you down, calls you names, or criticizes you. Yes/No
- Your partner makes you feel like you can't do anything right, or they blame you for problems. Yes/No
- Your partner makes you feel like no one else would want you. Yes/No
- Your partner threatens to hurt you, your friends, or your family. Yes/No
- Your partner threatens to harm themselves because of you. Yes/No
- Your partner threatens to destroy your possessions. Yes/No
- Your partner makes you feel nervous or like you're "walking on eggshells". Yes/No
- Your partner grabs, pushes, shoves, chokes, punches, slaps, holds you down, throws things, or hurts you in some way. Yes/No
- Your partner breaks or throws things to intimidate you. Yes/No
- Your partner yells, screams, or humiliates you in front of other people. Yes/No
- Your partner pressures or forces you into having sex or going further than you want to. Yes/No
RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONNAIRE – SCORING
Record your score below by highlighting the numbers of the statements you said ‘yes’ to:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Any highlighted in numbers 1-9 are indications of healthy aspects of your relationship-the more the better! Each yes=1 point
The below scores relate specifically to numbers 10-30, each yes=1 point
You got a score of 0 in numbers 10-30? Don't worry - it's a good thing! It sounds like your relationship is on a healthy track.
If you scored 1 - 2 points, you might be noticing a couple of things in your relationship that are unhealthy, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are warning signs. It's still a good idea to keep an eye out and make sure there isn't an unhealthy pattern developing. The best thing to do is to talk to your partner and let them know what you like and don't like. Encourage them to do the same. Remember, communication is always important when building a healthy relationship.
If you scored 3 - 4 points, it sounds like you may be seeing some warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Don't ignore these red flags. Something that starts small can grow much worse over time. No relationship is perfect; it takes work! But in a healthy relationship, you won't find abusive behaviours.
If you scored 5 or more points, you are definitely seeing warning signs and may be in an abusive relationship. Remember the most important thing is your safety -- consider making a safety plan. You don't have to deal with this alone-please see our website for details of where you can go for support.